October 18, 2007
The Librium is working, I only have some
shaking left, and feel great, the best I
have felt in years. I attend the morning
alcoholic anonymous meeting and pick up
a white chip, this is to signify the accept-
ance of the AA way of life, but I have not
bought into everything I am being taught.
I seem to be rejecting the idea that being
an alcoholic is a disease, diseases can be
cured, so I am thinking, for me, it was a
lack of character and self discipline and
thinking it is a disease to me, was just an
easy way out of explaining all the devas-
tation my drinking had done to others and
myself, anyway I tell myself that if it is a
disease, its in remission, as long as I do
not drink.
Today at class we took a self-assessment
test and by my answers, I am an alcoholic.
(see Mayo Clinic on the left of this blog).
I say to myself, this is not a good thing ,
but I also say to myself, the past is the
past, nothing I can do about it, but I really
do not like myself and feel very frustrated
and want a drink, luckily we are in class, it
saved me from another disaster.
Classes ended for the day, and we were
given two homework assignments, what
Powerless means to us and to work on
a plan for our recovery.
Author: Alden Morrison
