No man is ever whipped, until
he quits in his own mind.

Today I attended a Bible - 12 Step
Program on step nine.

The bible-12 Step meeting is a little
different than the Alcoholics
Anonymous meetings in that we sit
in a circle and everyone shares in
turn after the moderator has discussed
a certain part of Step Nine which was
the focus this week. If you do not
feel like sharing, you simply pass.

The focus was on making a direct amends
to the people we have hurt.

As people began sharing, I remembered
what my instructors in the Veterans
Program had suggested very strongly,
"avoid all relationships for at least one
year into your sobriety".

Everyone was sharing on mothers, fathers,
siblings, ex wives, husbands or significant
others. No one shared anything about
just plain friends, it seems we alcoholics
are short of real friends and it was very
evident we know how to destroy personal
relationships with close family members
and that is a good enough reason to avoid
any new relationships for at least your
first year of sobriety.

I was thinking about myself since I have
been sober for eleven months now and I
am content. I have not had any real
relationships in the last five years and
single life suites me fine. I avoid
relationships like they are the plague,
so there are no new violent words to
make amends for. The tongue can be a
very violent tool, more so than our
sometimes reactions to someone else's
tongue (domestic violence).

Bottom line is, avoid relationships
for a while anyway, enjoy your own
company because we do not need any
more problems than we already have.

Author: Alden Morrison